I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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