I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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