Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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