we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
