We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
