Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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