in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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