i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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