Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
you guys were way drunker than both of me
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
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