I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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