That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize