Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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