I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
