Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
