I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
