He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
