So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
