Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize
