Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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