..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
