she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I need a hoe opinion
go on
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
