you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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