a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
third nipple confirmed
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
