I got chris browned last night
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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