i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
