Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
