the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
