Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
