Do you still have your period?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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