Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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