I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
