I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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