guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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