I want to make a zoo with you.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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