I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize