I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
