I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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