based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
