it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
You smell like stripper and shame
I look better un-naked...
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize