My friends, they love my intelligence
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
