therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I need moral support for this bender
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
