hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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