How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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