went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
