My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
