Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
