Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
