Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
