question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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