.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Come see our sink grown plant.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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