it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize