How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
