he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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