beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
