I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
