When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize