she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
