she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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