***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
