make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
