I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
