Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
